It's weird, the last few days have been just a mix of emotions. I've learned that I can't stay on campus for longer than a month otherwise the imperfections of the school will get to my head and start to aggravate me until I have someone else to let out my aggression with. Plus I've been battling some kind of head cold since last thursday, the ill feeling isn't located anywhere from my neck down, but for the last four days I've been having an on&mpoff headache and the facial part of my head has been aching. I'm feeling better today, but I can only guess that it'll come back tomorrow. Keeping my pre-New Year's resolution by only drinking juice and water has done me good.
I want to rest and take a nap but I have a philosophy exam tonight to study for and my roomie & I have yet to begin cleaning up our room before we leave for Thanksgiving break tomorrow. The song I'm Goin' Down by Mary J. Blige has become my personal theme at the moment, singing the same line over and over again just to make the song last.
The funny thing is, amid all the stress, aches&pains, having no muse, and general distaste of life, I feel quite happy. Maybe delirium/denial has set in, who knows. But it blows my mind how I'm keeping my head up until I get a well-deserved break. I may be hanging by thread but I'm not giving up. Missy Elliot's song "Work It" also blows my mind. She's an amazing woman. I ended up making a Missy Mix and it's got all her songs and remixes and collaborations on it. Definitely hot. Back to the topic in hand, I feel hunky dory despite no motivation and no inspiration to be creative. It's like my legs keep walking even if my head tells it to just drop and cease to live. I do a lot of things feeling numb to what I should be feeling, just doing it because it's part of life. All I do is breathe in and breathe out, keeping hope that the numbness will go away sooner than soon.
It's probably too early to be thinking about setting up a list of New Year's Resolutions for 2003, but since I've never really made a list to actually keep I've decided I'm going to do that for next year. Blame it on me to be thinking of the future, thinking of what my actions now could result for me in a year's time. One thing on the list is my attempt to show my love for my family more than I actually do. I love my sisters and my parents with all my heart and soul but telling them and giving them hugs seem so difficult for me to do. All my life my fam has lived by the you know I love you and I know you love me, you don't need to tell me so mantra, but it's just not enough anymore. I get so sentimental thinking about my family the days I never get to see them as often, thinking that tomorrow I may lose my whole family, so now is the time I should tell them how I feel before it's too late. Ya feelin' me? There I go thinking about the future again. Other than that, there's just so many aspects of my personality that I need to change as much as my life is changing. I'm all about self-improvement baby.
In case my mom calls, tell her not worry because I'm doing alright. I just miss her like crazy.
04:21 PM [Link] [Comment]
It's weird, the last few days have been just a mix of emotions. I've learned that I can't stay on campus for longer than a month otherwise the imperfections of the school will get to my head and start to aggravate me until I have someone else to let out my aggression with. Plus I've been battling some kind of head cold since last thursday, the ill feeling isn't located anywhere from my neck down, but for the last four days I've been having an on&mpoff headache and the facial part of my head has been aching. I'm feeling better today, but I can only guess that it'll come back tomorrow. Keeping my pre-New Year's resolution by only drinking juice and water has done me good.
I want to rest and take a nap but I have a philosophy exam tonight to study for and my roomie & I have yet to begin cleaning up our room before we leave for Thanksgiving break tomorrow. The song I'm Goin' Down by Mary J. Blige has become my personal theme at the moment, singing the same line over and over again just to make the song last.
The funny thing is, amid all the stress, aches&pains, having no muse, and general distaste of life, I feel quite happy. Maybe delirium/denial has set in, who knows. But it blows my mind how I'm keeping my head up until I get a well-deserved break. I may be hanging by thread but I'm not giving up. Missy Elliot's song "Work It" also blows my mind. She's an amazing woman. I ended up making a Missy Mix and it's got all her songs and remixes and collaborations on it. Definitely hot. Back to the topic in hand, I feel hunky dory despite no motivation and no inspiration to be creative. It's like my legs keep walking even if my head tells it to just drop and cease to live. I do a lot of things feeling numb to what I should be feeling, just doing it because it's part of life. All I do is breathe in and breathe out, keeping hope that the numbness will go away sooner than soon.
It's probably too early to be thinking about setting up a list of New Year's Resolutions for 2003, but since I've never really made a list to actually keep I've decided I'm going to do that for next year. Blame it on me to be thinking of the future, thinking of what my actions now could result for me in a year's time. One thing on the list is my attempt to show my love for my family more than I actually do. I love my sisters and my parents with all my heart and soul but telling them and giving them hugs seem so difficult for me to do. All my life my fam has lived by the you know I love you and I know you love me, you don't need to tell me so mantra, but it's just not enough anymore. I get so sentimental thinking about my family the days I never get to see them as often, thinking that tomorrow I may lose my whole family, so now is the time I should tell them how I feel before it's too late. Ya feelin' me? There I go thinking about the future again. Other than that, there's just so many aspects of my personality that I need to change as much as my life is changing. I'm all about self-improvement baby.
In case my mom calls, tell her not worry because I'm doing alright. I just miss her like crazy.
04:21 PM [Link] [Comment]
November 24, 2002
What are you thankful for?
04:14 PM [Link] [Comment]
November 21, 2002
Christa is my partner in Rannie's Holiday Edition of the Film Exchange. Go visit the lovely lady and see all the great pictures that she has up on her site. Go!
04:34 PM [Link] [Comment]
November 19, 2002
"Have you ever seen New Haven? Take a look at the coffee pot tomorrow morning before I clean it."
Gilmore Girls is the best show.
08:17 PM [Link] [1 Comment]
ATTENTION NEW HAVEN CITIZENS! (including those living near or around it)
If you like to hear choirs sing, why don't you attend the Southern Connecticut State University concert choir & chamber choir concert? December 10th. Evening time. In a church somewhere, TBA. We're singing Vivaldi's Gloria as well as an assortment of holiday pieces. If you come, look out for a petite, brown-skinned girl in the soprano section (i'm the only one). We kick ass, so come and listen to some good stuff.
10:14 PM [Link] [Comment]
November 18, 2002
Look what time it is. It's 1:30am and I've been online trying to successfully register my Spring '03 classes for the last half hour. I've been worried and pissed in the last 3 weeks because I've been closed out of all of the classes I wanted to take. After playing musical chairs with the time slots, I'm almost there. I'm still worrying about passing my classes this semester, it's too early to think about what I want to take next semester. The state went through budget cuts, teachers were fired, less classes are offered, the school is accepting more students, and I'm shit up the creek. Excuse my language. I'm not trying to be any more selective than not having classes during mealtimes or anytime after 4PM, but it's not helping the situation. It's frustrating. I'm literally "grr"-ing every 5 minutes because I keep on running into obstacles. All my friends are going through the same situation. Let's all take a semester off and work full-time. eh? To add onto that, I have no idea where I'm going to live next semester.
Why did I choose this school? Oh, right. It's a state school.
I have no point to this entry other than the fact that this school still hasn't gotten their shit together and it's frustrating that I have to endure their crap.
Hey! Look! I looked at my school bill/payment history and after getting a $3000 refund, they still owe me money. I better get that money soon... s.o.b.'s owe me
update: here's what i'm taking next sem: History 100, Eng 217 (Major African-American Authors), Psy 210 (Infant & Child Development), Psy 259 (Statistics in Psychology), PoliSci (Power & Conflict in Modern Societies), and Choir.
If you could only take one possession with you because your house was on fire, what would you take?
While a number of students are dancing the night away at Vandome, Alchemy, or some other night club downtown, I'm opting to stay in to study for an exam and chill out from the day I had. I was sitting cozy in my room, psychology book and notes spread out in front of me, taking a break to watch the new episode of Will & Grace and chatting with Bogdan and Joan, when the most unexpected thing happened.
The fire drill went off.
Here I am sitting at my desk and being lazy, got scared off my ass by the loud sirens going off. Realizing it's the fire alarm, I quickly assume that some idiot unsuccessfully worked around the no smoking rule and got smoke into the smoke detectors. Cigarette smoke, maybe. Weed, an equally strong chance. Whatever the cause, we're all standing outside in 40 degree weather for 45 minutes.
Back to the question I asked. What one possession would you take if your house was on fire? Me? In this situation I put on my slippers, grabbed a jacket, and my keys. I mean, goodness. I wasn't so worried about my belongings that I didn't scramble to grab a photo album, maybe my purse, and my laptop if I could? Goes to show how much I'm fearing for my life right about now.
I even took a minute to look outside my door and see if other people were bothering to get to the nearest exit. I didn't smell smoke on my floor. Is that a good excuse as to why I wasn't flying like superman towards safety? I did look for my roomie and friends that I knew were in the building. I care about others' safety, maybe even moreso than my own. Considering that Americans have gone through some pretty tough times in the last year, my personal worry on safety has worn off somewhat. Stuff happens, I'm just going to deal with it the way I know how. I'm just glad that this situation wasn't severe. Although after this I've gotten to thinking that I might not be as lucky next time. The building could have blown up and my body parts would be flying across the pavement in different directions. You never know.
So what would you take? Why? How much sentimental value does it hold for you? Assuming all pets and family members (or dormmates in this case) are safe, I would probably take a photo album containing photos of my family, my childhood, photos of people and objects that provide the best memories for me. But even without that I'd still be glad that my loved ones are ok. Most of my possessions can be replaced if needed so that's not much of a worry.
Now that i'm back in my room I know at least everyone's safe. A little disappointed that I lost 45 minutes of precious study time and totally missed that Will & Grace episode, plus we're all going to be damage-billed for the emergency call, but it's all good. Now we all can plan on ganging up on Dre sometime. He set off the alarm. He burned a cookie in the microwave.
12:56 AM [Link] [5 comments]
How to speak about Women and be politically correct...
1. She is not a babe or a chick - She is a breasted citizen. 2. She is not easy - She is horizontally accessible. 3. She is not dumb - She is a detour off the information superhighway. 4. She has not been around - She is A previously enjoyed companion. 5. She is not an airhead - She is reality impaired. 6. She does not get drunk or tipsy - She gets chemically inconvenienced. 7. She is not horny - She is sexually focused. 9. She does not nag you - She becomes verbally repetitive. 10. She is not a slut - She is sexually extroverted. 11. She does not have premiere league hooters - She is pectorally superior. 12. She is not a two-bit slapper - She is a low cost service provider.
How to speak about Men and be politically correct...
1. He does not have a beer gut - He has developed liquid grain storage facility. 2. He is not a bad dancer - He is overly caucasian. 3. He does not get lost all the time - He investigates alternative destinations. 4. He is not balding - He is in follicle regression. 5. He does not put it about - He prefers differential relationships. 8. He is not a male chauvinist pig - He has swine empathy. 9. He is not afraid of commitment - He is monogamously challenged.
07:42 PM [Link]
November 9, 2002
I wonder if there is a search engine, like Google, where I can use keywords to search through a slew of people's weblog archives to find blog entries on topics related to my keywords. If that were possible, a couple things I'd like to search for right about now would be blog entries about 'thrift shops' or stories of thrift shop experiences and entries on photography, I'm wondering if someone's blogged about what can be done to alter a really cheap 35mm camera to make it do cool things. Why you ask? I'm curious what other people think of thrift shops. I wonder what kind of treasures people have found. I wonder if some people agree with me that some Goodwill shops know how to jack up prices for items that should really be cheaper. I'm also wondering if anyone has done any experiments to pick apart cheap 35mm cameras to make it do cooler stuff than it was designed for, like somehow make the color come out richer or something neat. I've got a really cheap one that might get thrown away unless I think of something to do with it.
It's amazing how some girls who are wearing skin-tight, butt-hugging jeans are able to wedge a cellphone into one of the back pockets without breaking it. I can't to do that. I stuck my student ID in my back pocket and I sat on it and bent it. What a phenomenon.
05:42 PM [Link]
November 5, 2002
I've begun a pre-New Year's 2003 resolution. I decided that I drink too much soda. Seriously. I eat lunch and dinner with 1 to 2 cups of Sprite with my meals. That's a lot of carbonated drink everyday. Not to mention the cans of Pepsi I drink at Joan's house during the weekend. It's a no brainer that drinking juice is healthier, so I'm replacing those cups of soda with cups of juice. Lord knows I love orange juice and apple juice, and I'm now liking the grape juice that's offered in the cafe here. I'm not positive about this, but in the last couple days my digestive system has been feeling better consuming juice instead of soda. Plus I'm hoping that the greater consumption of juice will keep me from catching nasty illnesses that are quickly being passed around campus. So we'll see how long I can keep this up.
I also decided to sign up for The Film Exchange: The Holiday Edition, run by Rannie. This weekend I found my 35mm camera and a new roll of film right next to it. It's been a while since I took photos on regular film. This is a good opportunity to start again. Feel free to join yourself. You shoot a roll of at least 24 exposures on 35mm film, color or B&W, send it to a random participant and they send their roll to you. You develop their roll, choose 12 images and scan and post it to a gallery on your website. Show it off. Then send the negatives and a set of prints back to that person. You get your prints back as well and all in all have a good time. Think about it.
If I had a male twin, it would be Michael. He emailed me some time ago telling me that we had a lot in common, like being sagitarrius, studying psych, and purple being our favorite color. So yeah, he kicks ass. (Hi Michael!)
Did you vote today? Just wondering. I didn't.
05:41 PM [Link]
November 1, 2002
Your unusual dose of entertainment news on not-right.com:
Once again I am the last to know. I guess the cat's out of the bag, Jordana Brewster and Derek Jeter are a couple. They've been hanging out in New Haven more frequently now. And I thought I had breaking news for ya'll. Man, she's too pretty.
Also, filming begins today at Yale for Julia Roberts, Julia Styles, Gennifer Goodman, and Dominic West for a new movie called "Mona Lisa Smile"ng next year.
Goodness. The day I leave the city, everything happens. Or even when I'm in it, the good stuff seems to avoid me like the plague.
01:43 PM [Link]
