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[Previous entry: "and i ask."] [Main Index] [Next entry: "new hotel, sisters!"] 06/26/2002 Entry: "time to plan another baby shower?"
"Erma have I got news for you." My friend is eighteen years old. She's a responsible woman, has a good head on her shoulders, and a pretty organized life with a future that's clear and promising. Her boyfriend Steven, the baby's father, is probably around the same age though I didn't ask much else about him besides his name. No matter what I still believe a girl as young as me is still very young to have a baby. I'm not ignorant to the fact that much younger girls get pregnant and are even burdened with raising their babies alone either. Still, there is nothing that I can do to prevent my friend from changing her mind and un-pregnating herself. Though I've got all these hopes that the two of them are willing and able to take on such a big responsibility despite all that they need to deal with in their lives thus far. It takes a lot to raise a child. Time and money are two of the biggest necessities. Right now she's working full time and taking a short break from school to make more money she needs for her education. If you've raised a child already you know how much it costs to buy a multitude of baby items. Keeping a baby isn't a part-time job that you can choose to quit when you're tired of doing it. Once that baby is born it needs all the attention it can get. It looks to me like she's going to need some help or it'll be really difficult to juggle a baby, a job, and an education all in one. Back in the day it wasn't until after a couple got married that they decided on having children. Now childbirth happens either by surprise or just for the sake of having someone to love. That's pretty unfortunate when it usually results in kids being put up for adoption. Numerous children go unloved or neglected because their parents are unable to support them adequately. Either way, that's not the reason I like to hear why kids are born these days. I certainly wouldn't like to have my parents tell me that I was born because my mother had unsafe sex, and stubbornly thought she could take care of me but was then got put up for adoption after she didn't want the burden or couldn't feed another mouth other than her own. I wouldn't like to find out that my biological father was once a caring guy but turned into a denying deadbeat dad after I was born and chose to run from his girl and baby. Not very many good things come out of having a baby at a young(ish) age and not yet being completely financially stable and positive that bearing a child will be the right decision for the parents. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it takes a lot and very few young mothers get through it on their own. Hopefully my friend's family will be accepting of the baby and will be willing to help out if they're asked to. I can't help but worry about them though. Why do I do this to myself? It's not my responsibility and any conflict they face wouldn't be my problem. I guess I just care too much about my friend. Like I told my other friends, if they need any help I'm here. So far they haven't come to me asking for a big huge favor. Maybe I should trust that this time won't be any different. I keep on telling myself it's not my responsibility. I have practically no control over the situation. All that I can do is hope that the two of them are able to give their child the best upbringing they can and love it with all their heart. I think they can. Yes. They can.
Replies: 2 comments i so know what you're going through. we found out a few months ago that my best friend is pregnant. i'm more than happy for her (auntie manda! auntie manda! *G*), but i'm also worried. the child will receive heaps and heaps of love from his or her parents, grandparents, and insta-aunts/uncles, but i'm worried about their monetary situation. babies are expensive, heh. congrats, anyway, to your friend. :) i hpoe she's happy about it :) Posted by Manda @ 06/28/2002 12:32 PM EST Amen. If that were my friend, I'd be worrying as well. Is the girl concerned about her future? What about a college education? I don't understand how someone so young can truly believe that they can survive this world with a child to take care of. I think that having a baby represents a lot of fantasies. Girls get pregnant from their boyfriends sometimes because they think it'll bring them closer and improve their relationship. A lot of times that all backfires and a baby just makes things a lot worse. It's sad how couples sometimes think that babies solve their problems and make things better. I hope your friends aren't using a baby to help out their relationship. Posted by Julia @ 06/26/2002 10:12 PM EST
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